This past week all of the JV's in the south were sent to a retreat site in Leakey TX. My community drove about 9 hours on Tuesday to get to San Antonio where we stayed the night at one of the JV houses along with a bunch of other JVs who had traveled a long ways. Then in the morning we explored San Antonio for a bit and headed to Leakey TX in the afternoon. Leakey is out in the middle of no where Texas and the camp site is at the bottom of this ravine. The only way to get to the camp site is to drive through a river.... Yes through the river. The water was not too deep but rather like a hug puddle, but it was still pretty funny cruising through the river. The retreat site was beautiful. There were some nice hiking trails, a perfect sunrise watching spot, the stars were brighter than i have seen them in a long time, and the weather stayed relatively nice.
The retreat was centered around Social Justice: the history of, the meaning of, and the ways we work towards it. It was a three day long lecture which was a little on the long side, especially for students who have not sat in on a classroom lecture in at least 7 months. But the information that the Jesuit speaker was presenting was fascinating.
During the second day we broke into small groups to discuss the structural problems that cause the issues we deal with every day at our jobs. First we identified the issues that our clients face. My group decided that the major issues we see our homeless clients facing are mental illness and addiction problems. At the time, i went along with it, but after taking some time to think about what i have seen over these past few months i realized that, yes, mental illness and addiction problems are major issues that my clients face but more so they are outcomes to bigger problems in our society and the American culture. From what i have seen most of the mental illness that my guests struggle with has been a result of PTSD, from wars, natural disasters, family problems, or a range of other intense situations. Jerome, for example, sits everyday and picks at his hands because they are pealing in an unhealthy way. He does not always make much sense when he talks but if you listen close you can pick up a word or two here and there that describes the water he sat in and the disease on his skill after the storm: the storm being Katrina and the water he sat in being the place he must have been stuck (for who knows how long) waiting to be rescued. Christopher is in his own world 24/7. You can talk to him and have a conversation just fine but when he is alone and talking to himself you can see a scene play over and over in his head. He talks, yells, and gestures as he plays the scene in his mind then all of a sudden his goes still, holds his hand in a fake gun position to his head, yells 'BANG' and then the scene starts over again. There are clearly very specific traumas effecting Jerome, Christopher, and other guests.
Addiction struggles are also a major issue that i see on a daily basis. A lot of people use drugs and alcohol to 'get out of the world' that they are in, or to have a little fun, or what have you. But from what i have seen most of the addiction problems have become a result of other problems with our society. Maybe a lack of family values or strong role models. No good examples to fallow. Or way out of poverty when you grew up in it. A lot of my guests do not understand the idea of saving or having a savings. When their SSI checks come in at the first of the month we tend to not see them until the end of the month, when the check has run out. Why do they not think to the future? I understand the feeling of buying something for oneself, to treat yourself to something special, but there is always a thought in the back of my mind that tells me to save some of what i earn. That idea of saving does not occur to a lot of my guests and i think it is a result of the way they were raised.
The other structural problems that i see stem from American society/culture. The dehumanizing way that society treats homeless people. We like to help others but only when it is convenient. Donations are given but only during holidays. Family support is there but family has its limits. Job training is available but no one wants to hire a homeless person. City's are kept 'clean' by a sweeping out of cape sites where large populations of homeless people have gathered. Natural disasters destroy homes and lives because we do not always act fast enough. And so much more.
The third day of the retreat was all about how working for social justice effects us, as the people working for change. Father Fred described the feelings of anger verses guilt when working for people who have nothing or are struggling. For example there have been many times when i give someone a pair of socks because they ask me and seem to genuinely need them. Then i find out the next day, when i do their laundry, that they actually have plenty of socks. It makes me angry that someone would be so selfish and that anger is expressed when the next person asks me for sock and i say no. There is no reason to take that anger out on the next person but its hard not to when you feel betrayed. Then there is the guilt that hits the bottom of your stomach when you see someone sitting on the side of the road with a cardboard sign. You think, "Do i give them money? or not? And what will they do with it?" It is anger turned into guilt. To help find a balance with these feelings Fr. Fred gave us three steps to think about. One: I am Loved as I am! Two: you should always give yourself time for morning and grieving. And three: Love everyone Freely (not driven by guilt or anger). Its not the end of the world if i give out too many socks, it just means there are more happy feet, but remember to keep in mind all of the people who go without. If i do not have money to give the person on the side of the road then there are other things i can give them, simple things, like a smile, friendly greeting or kind words.
One cannot solve the in-justice by charity alone or advocacy alone but rather a partnership of both. This year i am doing charity work, band aid relief, short term solution finding, or basic needs help. I am meeting fascinating people, listening to stories, learning names, and seeing faces. These faces are who i will remember when i work for social justice and advocacy later in life. There is a balance of both charity and advocacy that goes into the work that i want to do for the rest of my life. It can really be applied to any population i work with in the future or any person i meet.
Well i think that was enough thought for the moment haha. Clearly i am motivated by and slightly crazy with all that is in my head. And i love it all!
Love you!
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